Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Why You Are So Stupid

Perhaps I should clarify a bit.

Not all of you are stupid. Just the vast majority of you. And it is not that you are extremely stupid, although some of you are. And it isn't entirely your fault that you are stupid, although you must take a good share of the blame.

Advertising causes stupidity.

You have been trained, over time, to be stupid, by advertising. Advertising trains you to have a short attention span, to not question what you are told, and to rely on your feelings when making decisions, rather than your mind. In short, it trains you to not think.

If one hundred years ago you were to offer a product that contained nothing but water, sugar, flavor and bubbles and charged 100 times what the cost of the ingredients were, you would, at best, be laughed out of town. More likely, you would have been shot.

If ten years ago you were to offer a similar product that left out the sugar, flavor and bubbles, leaving nothing but water, yet still charged the same amount, you would, again, most likely be hurt very, very badly.

You are not only stupid, but you are becoming more stupid at an alarming rate.

It is in your power to reverse this trend and become less stupid.

I, myself, am not stupid. I do not view advertising. I do not watch television. I do not read newspapers or magazines. I do not use the internet. I do not watch movies. And when outside of my home, I generally keep my eyes closed. It takes a bit of effort, but it is worth it. I am smarter than you.

For those of you too weak to avoid these temptations, I propose a ban on all "pushed" advertising. I have no problem with advertising that people seek out. If a person wants to know which beverage will cause them to be more attractive, popular, outrageous or centered, they should be able to do so. But I would ban all advertising that simply accompanies other information. Advertisements could only appear on shopping channels and all other television channels would be advertisement free. Of course, television would no longer be free and you would have to pay an exorbitant fee to watch your "Gilligan's Island" reruns, but it would be worth it.

Think about it (if you can).

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