A Solution To Our Current Economic Crisis

Irresponsible.

I can think of no better word to describe it.

I find it unfathomable how our current administration can be so irresponsible when it comes to the economy. A six year old can understand the concepts necessary to support a viable fiscal policy.

Simply put, you can't spend money you don't have.

I will try to help you understand the magnitude of the problem. As of June 30, 2008, the United States owed $9,492,006,000,000. That's nearly 10 trillion dollars. To put this into terms that most people can understand, consider that there are 116,011,000 households in this country and each earns an average of $60,528 per year. Put another way, every person in the country owes 135% of their annual salary. So if you make, say, $50,000 per year, your share of the national debt is $67,500.

You owe a lot of money.

Now, in order to explain this further to you, I am going to use a little rudimentary math. If it is beyond your capabilities, I suggest you go back to elementary school and pay attention this time.

This is unsecured debt, much like you would put on a credit card. If you did have it on a credit card, you would be required to pay interest every month on it of 135% X 12 X18% / 12 = 24% of your monthly income. You would also have to make a minimum payment, which is typically 4% of what you owe. This yields 135% X 12 X 4% = 64% of your monthly income. So the total you would have to pay is 24% + 64% = 88% of your monthly income towards paying off your share of the national debt. That doesn't leave much left for you.

Now I may not be a trained credit counselor, but I know common sense and common sense dictates that you should declare bankruptcy.

Every last one of you.

There is only one reasonable conclusion that can be drawn from this.

When I become President, my first official act will be to declare bankruptcy for America.

America has a debt problem. America has borrowed far more than it can afford to pay back. America has proven that it cannot be trusted to handle money responsibly. Our bankruptcy laws exist to deal with these kinds of situations. We should take advantage of them.

Now there will be repercussions from this act. America will no longer be able to borrow money. Considering how irresponsible America has been, this is a good thing.

America needs to learn how to handle money better. Create a budget and stick with it. Create a savings plan and put away a little for a rainy day, like another world war, a pandemic, or Armageddon. Save money by shopping at Costco or thrift stores instead of Lockheed Martin. Try to reestablish a good credit record by using a credit card with a low limit to buy something inexpensive, like Cuba.

America isn't bad, it has just made some bad decisions and needs some help. Should we hold this against America? No! We should give America a fresh start. We shouldn't let it completely off the hook though. America has to shape up. No more stupid choices. America, if you're not sure, ask. Europe has been around awhile. Get some advice there. We have some very nice neighbors. Ask them for help. I'm sure they'll be helpful and supportive. If not, it's good to know now rather than later who your friends are. Maybe next time Canada throws some loud party late at night you won't have to put up with it and can just call the

police. But tell them not to say who called them. Or say you're Greenland. America doesn't want to wake up to eggs or graffiti all over Montana. Nobody wants to clean that up.

Think about it.

On Campaigning, Raising Money, and Lunch

I am upset.

I find it outrageous that I have to spend money in order to simply get people to vote for me when it is clearly in their best interest to do so. I am not running for President for myself, I am doing it for the American people. So why won't they just listen to me and save all of us a great deal of trouble.

I understand from my staff that we are not doing as well financially as they would like. Our main fund raising site has not been as profitable as was hoped. So, while contemplating this situation, I ran across an article detailing how an individual spent 2.1 Million dollars in order to simply have lunch with another individual.

I was shocked. I cannot fathom why anyone would spend that kind of money to just eat a meal with someone. I could certainly offer better lunch companionship at a more reasonable cost than that. As I have no friends I have a great deal of pent up "chatting" that I would be happy to share with my lunch mate. I'm sure that I would be extremely interesting. I find myself interesting. I'm sure others would too.

I am offering to have lunch with anyone for the very reasonable price of $2,300 (the maximum individual campaign contribution). I will even pay for my own meal. You may choose the restaurant, but it must be within walking distance of my home or you must provide transportation. If you wish to drive, you can go no more than 25 MPH or 5 MPH below the speed limit, whichever is lower (speed limits are set dangerously high in this country, a condition that I will rectify, once I am president).

The restaurant must offer pancakes, grilled cheese or toast. If those items are not available, it would be acceptable to stop somewhere else first in order to pick one of those up for my meal beforehand. It may also be possible to request that my assistant, Tree Sing, prepare one of those for me, but she has been highly unreliable in this area lately, claiming that she is not my assistant but is instead, my Public Relations Consultant, or some such thing.

I prefer a booth to a table and I will not sit on the same side as you.

You could bring others, but they must also contribute $2,300. And I will only talk to the two people on either side of me and, possibly, the person sitting across from me, if the restaurant is quiet and the table is narrow. Others who join us should plan on finding other things to entertain themselves during the meal which do not make any noise, like reading.

Think about it.