On Urban Sprawl, Global Warming, Health Care Costs & Getting To Know Your Neighbors

The problem with the politicians in Washington is that the only solutions they seem to be able to come up with are more complicated and cause more problems than those they are intended to solve. The typical bill introduced to congress weighs more than the average newborn, and is just as intelligible.

Our representatives in Washington have lost the ability or the will to think.

It requires an effort to create an elegant solution to a problem. It requires thinking to find a simple solution to a problem.

As Blaise Pascal once wrote, "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter."

Our politicians lack the time to make their bills shorter.

I do not. I intend to devote lots of time to doing very little.

I have plenty to time to devote to writing bills that are simple, to the point, and fix a myriad of problems. If elected I will see to it that fewer bills are passed and those that are passed are short. Perhaps even tiny.

For example, I will introduce legislation that makes it a crime to live in an area without mature trees. That's it. This simple law will make a better America. Better than a thousand complex bills could ever do.

Why would anyone want to live in a place without trees? Take Texas, you might say. I won't. I won't take Texas and no person should ever have to. No person should have to live without trees. It is unnatural.

By requiring that people only live in areas where there are plenty of large trees, we effectively stop the destruction of nature for new developments. Builders would be motivated to save trees rather than cutting them down, as they would not be able to sell their homes otherwise. Urban sprawl would come to an end as it would take decades to grow trees of sufficient size to make new areas habitable. Global warming would be reduced as we planted trees to allow new neighborhoods. Trees reduce the need for air conditioning and the energy consumption resulting from it. People would find it pleasant to walk around their neighborhoods, getting exercise and reducing health care costs. And while walking they would meet their neighbors and they could chat about things that people chat about. Such as trees. I understand that many people do that.

Joyce Kilmer may have said it best when he said, "I think that I shall never see, a poem as lovely as a tree". Joyce went on to say a number of things about trees, mostly of an erotic and disturbing nature, referring to their bosoms and mouths on breasts, but that is beside the point. Even though Joyce had an unhealthy attraction to our leafy friends, it is still true that a single tree can solve a multitude of problems. Not the kind of psychological problems that Joyce apparently suffered, but problems nevertheless. By mandating that trees be available to all, we ensure a better future for everyone.

Think about it.