Saturday, June 28, 2008

On The Disappearance Of Bees

There is a tragedy in the making recently that has not received the attention that it warrants. While much has been made of the cost of gas or our failing economy or global warming, little has been said of the plight of our nation's bees.

Our bees are disappearing at an alarming rate. According to one news article, bee populations are dropping at frightening pace of approximately 30% per year. Soon, we will have no bees. It is time to put an end to this.

But what is the cause of this phenomenon?

Our bees have finally succumbed to the same malady the rest of us have.

Low morals and an inability to follow through on their commitments.

According to Wikipedia, these disappearances demonstrate a "complete absence of adult bees in colonies, with little or no build-up of dead bees in or around the colonies", yet the queen is still present and there remain adequate food stores.

These bees are not dying. They are leaving.

Why are they leaving?

Because they are men and men are, as they say, pigs.

In a bee hive, the vast majority of the bees are male and are expected to do the work needed to maintain the hive. The lone female is the queen. She does nothing other than lay eggs and eat.

In our society today, there are few men who would tolerate such a situation. Why should we expect bees to act otherwise?

I blame our men.

Men in our society have lost the ability to do anything but satisfy their selfish desires. Have fun! Find an attractive female and perform recurring sexual acts with her! Our men have fallen for the media promulgated image of feminine beauty which rewards the petite. Queen bees are enormous. What else can we expect of a male bee under these conditions?

In order to stop this problem, our men must set an example. Work harder. Settle down. Eschew pleasure. Find a fertile woman willing to allow repeated impregnation. It is not enough that the Mormons are already doing this. The rest of us must do our part as well.

Think about it.

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