Tuesday, June 10, 2008

On The Price Of Gas

I hear a lot of complaints lately about the price of gas. I suppose that if I drove a car myself, I would be more familiar with this issue, but that does not mean that I don't have a solution to it.

I do.

Theoretically, nothing ever costs too much money. If something gets to be more than it is worth, people begin to use less of it, or find an alternative. Economies are cyclical. Prices rise and fall in response to demand, which itself rises and falls in response to price. There is a natural interaction between these things which tends to fix problems and make things work.

Unless something unnatural prevents it.

There was a time when monopolies were allowed to flourish and they interfered with the natural flow of the economy. But steps were taken to prevent them.

Yet we still find that some things, such as gas or homes, continue to rise in price and become unaffordable to the common man.

So there must be some other unnatural thing that is preventing these things from cycling back.

What could that be? I will tell you.

Rich People.

Rich people are unnatural. If a caveman, say, accumulated significantly more wealth (whatever wealth means to a caveman) the other cavemen would eventually kill and eat him and distribute his possessions fairly amongst themselves. That is natural.

If there were nobody around who could afford gas at its current price, then its current price would fall. That is natural.

Rich people can afford things that the rest of us cannot. Rich people make it possible for items to reach prices which are unnatural. Rich people make life more costly for the rest of us by enabling these unnatural prices. Rich people cause more problems than they are worth.

Once I am in office, I will rid this country of the wealthy. Not by killing and eating them (which would result in various other problems that could actually be worse) but by my proposed tax scheme which would increase the tax rate to 100% for excessive income (over 10 times the median income).

Imagine, if you will, a world where everyone is just like you. That is, if you happen to be much like me. If you are, it will be a wonderful world where people are nice to you and do not snigger behind your back because you don't have enough money or dress well enough or lack the social confidence to order for yourself in a restaurant rather than having your assistant do it for you. That is the sort of world I want to live in. If you are not like me, then perhaps you should attempt to be more like me in order to fit in to this future world better. For your own sake.

Think about it.

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